The Blister Exists

Psychosocial

Joey Jordison Drum Solo

I must start off by clarifying that the only reason I watch this show is because Mary watches it and I choose to sit through it with her. Never really cared until now. For those that are not in the "know", this happy "douchebag" couple is Jon and Kate Gosselin, the stars of the TLC hit "Jon & Kate plus 8." It has been reported over the past few months of Jon's alleged infidelity to his wife. I WILL NEVER ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY THIS. So no beating me over the head for my views please. Jon has had his picture taken with Deanna Hummel, a 23 year old school teacher, outside of a local bar. There are many other photos like this, this and this but they leave me wondering about his decision making abilities more than his cheating heart. Married men should not be photographed with "strange" women driving their brand new Nissan 350z Nismo. Never. And there is a video swimming on the web of what is supposedly Jon leaving Deanna's house early one morning. That video is horrible. That could be John F. Kennedy as far as I know. I really do believe that Jon is "throwing his newspaper onto Deanna's front porch" if you follow me, but he is not the only person to cast stones at. Kate Gosselin, by what I have gathered by watching the show, is a straight jacket fitting session shy of the Sunnybrook Mental Institution. And overbearing. She treats Jon like a child. A better name for the show would be Kate plus 9! According to reports that I read yesterday, Kate used to give Jon a $5 daily allowance. WTF? He is a grown ass man! $5? He must have spent a lot of time at Arby's or Subway because that is all you can do with $5 dollars! It was also stated that when they sextuplets were born, they were given a 14 passenger van, to which Kate never thanked the donor and traded the van in because she didn't like the burgundy color paint job. I mean, you could go on forever with the way she treats Jon on national TV, her O.C.D. and the rumor of her affair with her security guard. No one but them know the truth. Jon.........a douchebag! Kate stated that during filming for their show that Jon wasn't around because it was Jon's weekend off. WEEKEND OFF? You have 8 kids PLAYER! You are NEVER off! Kate..........a douchebag! She even came out on the season premiere and admitted that she had been too hard on Jon over the course of their marriage and that she regretted it. I know the ladies are gonna blast me for that, but if it was Jon talking down to her like that on national TV.........there would be issues. I really do not pity either one of them. The kids are the ones that are going to suffer. There is going to be a massive case of "CHILD STAR SYNDROME" sweep through that household sooner or later. I hope this family the best, but this debacle will go nowhere fast. No matter your opinions, they both are wrong and need to do an episode with Chuck Norris where he roundhouse kicks the shit out of both of them to get them back on track!

For those of you that have been following this whole Miss USA, or more appropriately, Miss California debacle, I think it has gotten a little (dare I say) out of hand. I was trying to stay away and not voice any concerns until I read today that Shanna Moakler resigned as the Miss California Pageant Director.

To catch anyone who does not know about this up, I will briefly give you a sequence of events. On April 19, Carrie Prejean was named the runner-up in the Miss USA pageant. During the pageant, she was asked a question by the King Douche of the World, Perez Hilton, regarding her views of same-sex marriage. She stated that she believed that marriage should be between a man and a woman, igniting a cultural debate. Then a few pictures surfaced of her in her panties with one revealing a nipple-slip. Many felt that she should have her Miss California crown removed. Why? For speaking her opinion? For taking a few pics that showed her beauty? I just don't get it. Pageant officials say she violated her contract by lobbying on behalf of an anti-gay marriage group. What if her answer would have been the other way around? Would that have violated her contract or FULFILLED it? Is there a motive here? I believe the same that she does and could care less what others do in their own time. I love my GORGEOUS WIFE and that is how I roll. Then today.............

........Shanna Moakler resigns her job as the Miss California Pageant Director because...

"I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth," she continues. "I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams."

That is the POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK of the year!!!!! Wasn't Shanna Moakler the December 2001 Playmate of the Month? Role Model and Shanna Moakler need not ever be used in the same sentence. "High hopes of pageantry"? Does that lead to high hopes of pornography? What exactly are you protesting here? Your on/off relationship with Travis Barker is INSANE! Maybe Miss California could offer you some marital advice!

And before I forget. Perez Hilton. That was the greatest attempt ever at character assassination. That question was baited like a 50 foot trotline. She would have caught flak no matter how she answered it. It just wasn't the way you wanted it answered. I applaud Carrie Prejean for being honest. I mean, Perez kinda did her a favor. Can you tell me who WON the Miss America pageant? Didn't think so. All I know, I think Perez Hilton should......

1) Shut the fuck up!
2) Stop acting like the huge Diva he is
3) Stop trying to attack people's character
&
4) Pick on someone more his level. i.e. Shanna Moakler

This is a site about my friend Ashlee Hillis, and the journey she is about to embark upon. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. If you can help with any type of monetary contribution, please do so. (There are links on her website.)

These pictures sum it all up!

Mother Nature was a bitch for all that planned on attending this event. The day started out around 12:00 for me, in Little Rock. Patrick and I headed out for what was sure to be good times. After a last minute stop at Wal-Mart and a Dollar-Menuairre shopping spree, we headed to the show. We were held up in traffic for an hour and a half when Patrick realized he had left the tickets at the house. We learned as we left that a severe thunderstorm was in the area and they were not letting people in the gates. Anyways, we headed back, got the tickets, and went back to the venue. Thanks to my Mario Andretti-esque driving skills, we were able to jump ahead in traffic by a good 2~3 miles. When we got to Faulkner Lake Road, we were informed that parking was no longer available at the venue. We parked under the I-440 overpass and got to steppin'. We walked about 2 miles to get to the gate and as soon as we got there it was evident why parking had been shut down. The field was soooooo muddy, everyone was getting stuck. Patrick and I immediately found Jeff Cage, who had our passes, and proceeded to the stage. We got there just as Hurt was going on. The guys from Hurt, knowing the show was badly delayed due to weather, cut there set short to get things back on track and later announced they would play for free Sunday Night at The Rev Room for EdgeFest ticket holders! What a CLASSY move! MAD RESPECT! Pat and I had the opportunity to visit with Aaron Lewis from Staind for a while and decided that he is a pretty stand-up kat. Drowning Pool, Chevelle & Staind kicked mucho ass. Then Slipknot! HOLY SHIT! The knocked it out the park on the first song, (sic). The show ended up being, for the most part, great. The weather did not cooperate at all, but that you cannot control. I want to say "Thank You" to my homeboy Patrick for the V.I.P. hook-up. It's not everyday you get to stand on stage with the likes of that many great bands. I had a great time and can't wait to do it again.

Friends, those who already know help me out here. On Saturday night, June 20th, The Anger Mis-Management Comedy tour will be making a stop at Eden Park in Pine Bluff. Their will be 4 comedians at this show and you can see them all for just $10. The Headlining comedian for the show will be none other than my friend and the Voice of the Angry Revolution, ANGRY PATRICK!!! (check out Patrick's blog in Sync Weekly here.) The host for the evening will be Michael "Doc" Davis and you will also get the winner of the first annual Arkansas' Funniest Person Contest, Chucky D. The fourth comedian will have to be a surprise. Tickets for these shows go fast, so I wanna give you a little heads up. Currently, there are 2 means by which you can get your tickets. They are as follows:

1). Send me an e-mail. I have tickets at the house I would gladly deliver or mail to anyone, anywhere. If you prefer this method please send me an e-mail to matthewesquire@gmail.com and leave me a number that I can contact you, and we will make arrangements.

2). At the bottom of this post is a link that will send you to Patrick's PayPal and you can order the tickets there. Same applies to this method. I will mail or deliver them to you.

As a resident of Woodlawn and a homeboy, born and bred in Pine Bluff, I realize there is not much to do around here. All that will change on June 20th. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL PEOPLE!!! This will beat a night at Bad Bob's or All-Star any day of the week. $10/4 comedians. I encourage all of you to tell your friends and get your tickets NOW. The show is already sold 1/3 of the way out and seating is limited. Don't wait.

Okay. After the huge response I received to the posting of the timeless classic, Chainsaw, I received this little ditty in my e-mail. I must warn you that this is not safe for children, not safe for work and hell to be totally honest, you probably shouldn't listen to it! Don't send hate mail. Enjoy. Chainsaw (remix)

This update was posted this morning on the Facebook group page. Remember to keep Nate in your prayers. Things are getting better for this young man. Still, remember that you can make monetary donations to this family through a PayPal account that has been set up. The PayPal site is here. Do what you can.

"I spoke with David earlier and he said that Nate is doing awesome!! His brain is back down to within normal limits so they have taken the bolt out of his head that was monotoring the intercranial pressure. They are slowly taking him off of the medication so he can wake up; they are also taking him off of the Morphine and putting him on something less addictive. The neurologist thinks he may be able to skip the neuro floor and go straight to rehab if he continues at this progress! David and his mother-in-law both said it is a miracle. I know it is because all of the prayers!!!!"

David STRESSED how thankful he is for all that the community has done for them.

Okay, it appears that Debbie and Mary did not get it the first time, when myself and Patrick proved our Incredible Man skills by laying down a "brutal" verbal smack down. They should realize that "taunting" is a manly sport, not to be entered into without caution. Let Round 2 begin. Click on Debbie and Mary's new official logo to see what they are up to now. If you are a Facebooker, feel free to join in, but be warned, all are fair game.

Okay, so Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, aka The Dynamic Doucho, were photographed wearing these attractive little ditties while at the airport after returning from Cabo San Lucas. How much you wanna bet it was Spencer's idea? He's such a complete waste of space on this earth. But I digress. According to Spencer's Twitter page, the couple started wearing the mask while in Mexico recording Heidi's music video "Sex Ed." The fact that that someone is actually giving that attention whore a recording contract is amazing in it's self. I mean these two were surely the only United States citizens at LAX walking around with these masks. Why? For attention. That's Michael Jackson and the Japanese's job to wear the facial underpants. I was actually excited when I saw this picture though. I thought, "Wow! Now that they are wearing these masks, maybe the rest of the world will not be infected with their DOUCHE-iticulitis or their DOUCHE-enoma. What a thoughtful act." Then I found out they were actually trying to reduce THEIR chances of contracting the swine flu. Spencer and Heidi, if you want the attention and fame, take the masks off, go back to Mexico and breeeaaaatth reeeaaaaallll DEEEEEP! Then maybe you could go down in history as the first washed-up, nutjob, psedo-famous, celebrity wannabe douchebags to contract swine flu. That my friends would make you ICONS!!!!